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The history of the title “Hannah Rose Knows”



      In my  author’s bio I claim to be the mother of five children.  The reality is I am really the mother of six.  My youngest child was a fraternal twin to another girl.  We had chosen their names to be Natalie and Taylor.  I went in for my 32 week check up and the doctor said everything looked great. Taylor was head down, and Natalie was opposite but the doctor explained to me that they could deliver Taylor and then turn Natalie around and deliver her.  I had never had a c-section before so I was happy.  One week later on March 26, I woke up at 1:30 in the morning and just knew that something was wrong.  I went to the hospital and had an ultra sound and the doctor turned to me and said I am sorry there is just one heart beat.  To make a long heartbreaking story short, they kept me in the hospital for two days and then sent me home with both babies still inside me.  I was put on bed rest and had to take medication every three hours to curtail the contractions.   It was one of the scariest weeks of my life. On Friday April 5th, my doctor called and said it was a slow day at the office why don’t I come in and they can check on how I was doing.  While I was there my daughter’s heartbeat dropped for close to 10 seconds.   The doctor said she probably just leaned on her cord.  At that point my husband said “we are not leaving… the baby has to come out today.”  After a few hours of hearing the possible medical complications they agreed on delivering the babies c-section.  They first delivered the baby that was head down.  Then Natalie.  Her cry was a sound I will never forget but they whisked her away to the Neo-natal unit before I could even hold her.

      After the operation they wheeled me into a room and brought in my baby that had passed away.  She was the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen with a full head of brown hair and a little birthmark under her left eye.  I held her and cried and told her how much I loved her.  When the nurse came in to fill out her death certificate she asked me her name, I did not even have to think about it and I answered “Her name is Hannah Rose”  I am not quite sure what made me change her name during that split second  but that is who I saw when I looked at her.  Later the doctor came in and told me that if I wanted they could do an autopsy but she would like to show me something.  She undid the blanket that my daughter was in and pointed to her belly button, the cord was twisted like a Tootsie roll wrapper.  The doctor then told me she doesn’t understand how there was even enough room for her to move but 10 days ago this baby was head down and when they did the c-section they found her, head up facing her sister.  As a mother I knew right then that Hannah Rose knew it was not her time on earth and she turned around to say good bye to her sister.  I also believe Hannah Rose told her sister many thoughts that only Natalie holds inside.  My daughter Natalie and I often talk about Hannah Rose and both feel her presence.  “They Say” the infamous “They” that a child knows everything in a mother’s womb and during birth everything is wiped away and they have to relearn in their lifetime. Hannah Rose passed away in my womb…and that is the real reason Hannah Rose Knows

When my search for an illustrator was narrowing down, not only did I love Darrell Mordecai’s work, but this was his response to the the history of the title and why I knew, in my heart that he was the right person!

Every baby, when it is in its mother's womb, is taught everything it needs to know about life. When the baby is born, an angel taps it on the upper lip and the baby forgets it all.

We  should ask two simple questions.

1. If we are supposed to know all the wisdom for life, why make us forget it?

2. If we are to forget it, why teach it to us in the first place?

I once heard a wise Rabbi answer as follows:

He explained that the purpose of our lives is to search for wisdom and truth and try to live by all that it entails.

The reason we first learn everything and then forget it is that deep down inside everyone is programmed with that truth and wisdom for life. Therefore when we see something that is truth, we have the tools to recognize it as such (or just to remember what you actually already know). He explained that that is the feeling that you get when you learn something that just seems to "make sense" - your soul knew it before your head remembered it.

I hope that gives a little insight into your moving story about the real Hannah Rose. I guess she really did know.

                                    All the best, Darrell

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